House Church Unplugged

All you need. Nothing you don't.

Ridding Your Church of Problem People

[Disclaimer: This is written from the perspective of one who is intent upon destroying a church. Do NOT try it at home! Take it as a warning. It really does happen.]

The house church model presents new opportunities for pulling away from those pesky, underperforming types which eventually show up in every group. Unlike the brick and morter churches which open their doors to everyone at the same specific times each week, house churches offer the simple ways and means to quickly, quietly, and permanently exclude those who are keep lowering your curve.

Here’s the typical scenario: Announce to your church that God is calling you to leave. Act very sad. Deny having any agenda. Then, a few days later, just slip around the corner and pull out your cell phone and buddy list and start dialing. You know the rest…

Remember, always plan ahead for deniability. Attribute everything to God’s direct revelation to you and be highly offended if anyone questions it. If the underachiever later asks why you really didn’t leave and why he or she wasn’t invited to continue, just say that all your buddies actually invited themselves and you couldn’t turn them away.

Easy as a pie.

3 Responses to “Ridding Your Church of Problem People”

  1. James says:

    Hi Zane! I’ve been to your site a couple times before receiving a comment regarding the upcoming Moody broadcast on “Revolution.” Thanks for the heads up.

    Regarding this post, it doesn’t surprise me that these kinds of things happen. I’m disappointed with my own gravitation towards those who I’m comfortable with. One of my favorite illustrations of this point comes from the movie Shadowlands, about the life of C.S. Lewis. In the movie he has a relationship with a gal named Joy who sees that Lewis has carefully chosen his friends and relationships. His little house of cards comes crashing down as painful circumstances mount.

    I’ve just begun looking into alternatives to traditional, local church ecclesiology. The options and challenges of each are very interesting to me. I realize that the perceived accountability inherant in an IC isn’t always there. I do think, however, that everyone in recent church history who helped contribute to the current model can’t be quickly dismissed as an idiot. Know what I mean?

  2. James says:

    I’m sure you listened to the Open Line. Disappointing that George didn’t make it. I hope he wasnt hiding out. What did you think of the broadcast?

  3. mikeexum says:

    Wow. This is a topic I really have not even begun to explore. However, I was at a home Bible study with some new friends just last night where this option for just these reasons was being kicked around. I was leary about it then, and now reading this… well you have called the bluff on it. Very thought provoking. Thanks. I will refer this post to others.

    Mike Exum
    Lubbock, TX

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