posted
Why Are More Americans Lonely Today? by Janice Shaw Crouse, Posted Jul 13, 2006 Human Events Online
Rarely has news from an academic paper struck such a responsive nerve with the general public. The National Science Foundation (NSF) reported in its General Social Survey that unprecedented numbers of Americans are lonely.
Published in the American Sociological Review (ASR) and authored by Miller McPhearson, Lynn Smith-Lovin and Matthew Brashears, sociologists at Duke and the University of Arizona, the study featured 1,500 face-to-face interviews, where more than a quarter of the respondents -- one in four -- said that they have no one with whom they can talk about their personal troubles or triumphs. If family members are not counted, the number doubles to more than half of Americans who have no one outside their immediate family with whom they can share confidences. Sadly, the researchers noted that the number of “socially isolated” Americans has doubled since 1985.
These dramatic statistics from ASR parallel similar trends reported by the Beverly LaHaye Institute -- that over the 40 years from 1960 to 2000 the number of people living as “unrelated individuals” increased from 6 to 16 percent of all persons. Additionally, about 70 percent of those classified as “unrelated individuals” lived alone.
posted
How did this come about? A number of streams feed this river. Dependence upon government rather than neighbors is surely a factor. And look at all the fun which can now be experienced alone compared to just a few decades ago prior to the era of endless cable TV programs and video games. Not to mention the internet.
The implications for the followers of Christ, in view of this trend, are real and they are vast. Is not old-fashioned hospitality part of the solution? No wonder that the older ones or overseers in the churches were/are required to be hospitable.
The phrase "friendship evangelism" is a new one but the concept is ancient.
posted
It is sad but true people are too busy to be friendly. I suspect it started when most of the women went to work. Though I stayed home after we started our family, I found all our immediate neighbors worked outside the home. Only the elderly family members were available to visit.
Another factor is the 24 hour work day. As a kid, hardly anyone worked past 5 or 6 and few on the weekend. Now everything goes all the time. Nobody has the same schedule. Making it hard to have time for family, let alone friends.
As for church groups, they do not fill the void; but rather add to the busyness. Most have so many programs for age appropriate groups, just as schools have the kids running in 5 directions. There are no family activities in the modern world. Everyone is disconnected. There are few opportunities to actually work together helping each other; but most activities involve entertainment.
Sadly, the only ones picking up on this need to be connected seem to be cults. They are notorious for using the “friendship” method of gaining new members (showing themselves friendly; but never sticking by you in trouble). This is not true friendship, but another form of busyness and entertainment to keep the members on the go with other members and away from their family and friends.
I read once in the Reader’s digest many years ago, if a person had one true friend throughout their life, they were lucky, as most don’t. Sadly, it is evident most don’t even have a friend in their spouse by the number of divorces today.
The Bible says Proverbs 18:24 (KJV) A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Today it is harder than ever to find someone with the time to respond when you are friendly.
-------------------- 1 Thes. 5:21 (KJV) Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
posted
Faith said in her closing remarks, "Today it is harder than ever to find someone with the time to respond when you are friendly."
Isn't this a result of everyone being so busy? We were warned of these things.
Mark 4:19 And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.
Who among us has not felt the pressing need to accomplish something at the expense of our spiritual drink?
But all of this is yet another factor which causes division. In the nation, in the church, in the family unit, and on and on... We ARE becoming islands.
We are social creatures yet we find it more difficult to tolerate others and so we fracture into smaller and smaller social units. Right now house churches are comprised of families and neighbors. But believe me, the pressure is on to splinter those groups as well.
The Lord is about unity. The adversary is about division. Love naturally unites but selfishness tends to isolation and loneliness. A lonely person will talk mostly of their troubles and I believe this manifestation of selfishness is what drives most people away. However, the popular person is a good listener and is compatible with the desires of others. S/he cares about other people and takes an interest in their lives and loves to talk about them. Or, in some cases, s/he is the one buying. Remember the prodigal son?
The straight and narrow walk of the Christian can also encourage aloneness.
1 Peter 4 3 For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries: 4 ¶ Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you:
Notice I said aloneness and not loneliness. While a strict adherence to the gospel of Jesus may not be appealing to some of your friends we have a friend that sticks closer than a brother. That friend is Jesus.
quote:Notice I said aloneness and not loneliness. While a strict adherence to the gospel of Jesus may not be appealing to some of your friends we have a friend that sticks closer than a brother. That friend is Jesus.
Amen, Jesus is the best friend we can have.
Jeff, while there may be some splintering of those in hc into smaller groups due to busyness, etc. A lot of hc is aloneness with God by those who have chosen to leave the busyness of IC. Therefore becoming an island is sometimes needful. I think those of us alone with God can work more at being friends with our family or others close by. Quanity is not always better; but quality. Of course Jesus is that quality friend and can help us seek a better quality relationship for our families and others.
BTW, your comments on the "popular person" do not speak of a person who has true friends. They listen to the down and out; but do the down and out truly care when the tables turn? The popular are often the one buying? Who wants to buy friendship? That's not true friendship. There are many who will take, take and take but never give. Friendship is a two way street. Both have to give. Thus, to have many fairweather friends who love you when you have something to offer them is nothing at all. Popular folks can be the loneliest people in the room if their friends are not sincere. That is why scripture admonishes us to trust God rather than men.
Psalm 118:8 (KJV) It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.
-------------------- 1 Thes. 5:21 (KJV) Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
Email this page to someone.
