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Hello everyone! I'm Tracy, and I just joined the site this afternoon. My husband and I are looking for a true community of believers to join with. We just moved to Ohio from NC, and have had trouble in traditional churches. I was involved in a house church in Missouri a few years ago, and it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I have had trouble finding something like that since. My husband is sort of a rebellious sort, he doesn't like the IC as it is today, and really wants some place where church is a 24/7 type of thing, and not a Wednesday and Sunday thing. I totally agree with him, but there is nothing like that around here that I know of. (I am in Bowling Green Ohio) If there is anyone on here from the area, we would love to hear from you. We're fairly young (late 20's) with no children, and would love to meet anyone. Hope to talk with some of you too, even if we live miles and miles apart.
I think you've found a good online community for discussions, thoughts for fellowship at home and encouragement to know you and your husband are not alone. Welcome!
I'm probably not the only one who'd love to hear more of your story that led you to consider meeting as a church in your house. We all come from different backgrounds, but we share so many reasons for doing what we're doing.
It sounds like your husband is like mine - he wants authentic community and "loving my neighbor" and living as Jesus told us to live (no "meetings" there, really) rather than a packed schedule of club events.
We are enjoying opening our lives to our neighbors and family in real ministry instead of spending all our time in fruitless recruitment to "our church" and "bait and switch" evangelism.
I believe that if you are willing to "be the church" to your community, that you can really build the Kingdom. We decided three years ago that instead of trying to find other "house churchers" to meet with that we would stay home and try to find and pray in those who need Jesus. In the process we have found like-minded believers, but we all urge one another forward in reaching out, and keep our relationships loose and flexible.
We are excited about how much progress we have seen, even though this way is rather slower than having a hot worship team and a cool kids program. The people who are being touched are the truly needy instead of church people.
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I'm also hoping to join -- or, if necessary, start -- a house church. One creative idea I plan on using is to print business-card-sized notes saying something like, "Interested in learning more? Me, too! Contact .... " followed by my name, email address and phone number. I will then visit area bookstores, find books on the subject of house churches (such as Frank Viola's books) and put one of these 'bookmarks' into each.
Hopefully, a few folks who buy the books will contact me, and we can create a nuclear group of 12 to 20 folks.
We're also doing "Coffee at the Coerpers" on Friday night and inviting Christian friends and acquaintances who may be interested -- not to throw any ideas out but just to check the chemistry, since many of our friends don't know each other.
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Your bookmark idea is interesting! If you go ahead with it let us know how it goes! God put it on my husband and my hearts to start a house church a couple of years ago. We did something similar to your "coffee at the Coerpers" and just invited different people over that we thought might be interested, and just shared what was on our hearts, and allowed others to share as well. A number of these poeple commited to praying with us regularly about Gods direction, and a handful of those ended up joining with us in meeting together as a house church- wading through the reality of "now what?" and "WHat do we do when we get together?"..... We have grown and learned together- and I know still have a long way to go! A few neighbors have come to the Lord through the process and have joined us- though just one of those have really stuck- the others have since joined more traditional church's though we still get together with them one on one regularly.
Again, welcome! I look forward to hearing more from you!
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Personally, I think the coffee idea is the best. You must establish a relationship of friendship and trust. I don't like the bookmark idea simply because it 'defaces' someone else's property. Maybe you could place your cards on their bulletin board instead. But other than that I think it is a very ingenious approach. I've heard of people who enclose invitations with their bill payments, leave them in restrooms, at gas pumps, etc. But some of these approaches are problematic as well.
What about wearing a T-shirt embossed with the same message? Or carrying a sign as you march around town? An ad in the newspaper or online at such places as MeetUp.com and the like? On Christian bulletin boards?
BTW, [edited: added] I don't think Jeanne intended to be exclusive when she said their family "just invited different people over that we thought might be interested." I think she meant to convey the idea that all are welcome but as you discuss the options with people you get the sense they are not interested and so they are not invited. But only she can say what is true. But let me ask, [end edit] do you only invite people who seem interested or that agree with your ideology, or would you invite someone who is rough and maybe even smells and might disrupt the group? Isn't this one area where the church is failing? They favor those who are already polished and shiny over those who are difficult to manage and don't fit in.
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The coffee idea might be the best, unless it's considered "raiding" the membership of institutional churches. Folks reading books such as "Revolution" or "Pagan Christianity?" might already be disillusioned with Church-as-we-know-it and may already also be interested in the house church "movement."
I don't think there is any "defacing" going on; nothing is damaged and no one is injured. Leaving stuff at gas pumps, etc. is an extremely inefficient way to reach people (maybe ... maybe 2 people a month depending on how often one buys fuel). T-shirt and sign ... "LOL" ... I was gonna hire a sky-writer to tow a banner over the mega-churches, too.
I'm not interested in examining ideology; I think that's probably secondary to things such as love of Jesus, hunger for authentic fellowship, and a teachable spirit. No one' ideology is perfect, but I think chemistry in Jesus is the most significant, and people will leave of their own accord if it isn't a good fit.
As for the "rough and gruff" .... who am I to reject someone the Lord sends? After all, it's HIS church. If someone is disruptive, argumentative, or worse ... that's probably a sin issue, separate from hygiene issues. Again, chemistry in Jesus is the most significant.
Just reading what you have to say. About putting the cards in books at the local bookstore. I think that is unethical unless you ask the publisher. It gives the appearance that the writer(s) and publisher approve of you, your theology, etc and recommend you. Bad move.
Now for all the action oriented folks trying to convert others, get visitors, or whatever your activity is. Have you ever considered that if you (a big YOU) are on the right path God will send whom He will to your ummm, house church. Of course I know this requires faith and it appears many have no patience for that and attempt to do the Holy Spirits works themselves. I am not saying to not invite others when appropriate. But it appears many need to walk in stride with God and see what direction He is going in.
-------------------- Tarheel I am a Warrior I am a Child
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About putting cards in books, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I don't believe that anyone finding a card would leap to the conclusion you posit. Not a problem in any event, since I know the author and can get his/publisher's permission without any difficulty.
As for your second point ... good question. My experience is that for God to bless something, there must be something to bless. The miracle of feeding 5,000 was preceded by the natural provision of 5 loaves and 2 fish. Peter got the stater, but he had to go fishing for it. God doesn't steer a parked car ... that sort of thing. But your point is well-taken. God is not in a hurry. We are. I want a house-church NOW, not in six months. But I accept your wise counsel to walk in stride with God and see what direction He chooses.
Just some random thoughts, today, not at all to disagree with any of the above.
Desiring children - many would be parents are never blessed with such. Strangely, some of the most incompetent parents (or unmarried mothers) seem to be able to produce an uninterrupted supply of babies.
Many desire to be a part of a house church but it never materializes despite careful plans and ardent prayers. Yet, I have seen several churches come together almost by accident. More people just kept coming over...
These severe pains and disappointments I cannot explain.
Our experience is that if we let the Lord build the house in our home and life, there is something for people to come to. They simply get swept up in what God is doing in our lives.
Recruiting from house church books is a failing idea, because the people reading it are already toxic, and already looking in the wrong place. "Where's the book that will tell me the steps? Where's the leader who will tell me how? Where's the conference that will light my fire?"
"The Kingdom of God is HERE". Look in the mirror, there is your congregation. Look in the bedroom, there's your household of faith. Read the Book and see how God wants us to live. Begin with that, and be obedient to the basics of what Jesus commanded.
The Kingdom of God may really be the only place we can say, "If you build it, they will come..." The fragrance of Christ will draw people to you. Wolfgang Simson says that the message of the early church was, "I have found the Way to live." Live God's way. It's contagious.
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I feel books are fine. They help bring some insight into passages and help expand knowledge. Books are also a forum, so to speak, of others ideas. It is always good to listen to or read others, as everyone has something to teach me. Conferences are good also. There is nothing wrong with gathering with God's people to refresh and strengthen ones self. God says that we are to encourage one another. This is certainly done in forums, books and yes, conferences. Yes it is even done in traditional churches. Yes I agree that Christianity is Christ first, not your local church building. However, good thing can and do occur in a traditional church. We are here because we recognize faults and have felt them personally, as well as we have felt a thirst for a more personal relationship with Christ and way to worship Him without the distractions of rituals (as we have observed in traditional churches). Certainly we look for a way to be more a community of Christians rather than a Sunday morning group.
But, are we not just as bad as one denomination bashing another, or a church split when we gather and bash the traditional church. Certainly some have enjoyed and been true Christians with the traditional church system. We must admit that every church and everyone in church is not a bad Christian. Nor can we say that we are better Christians because we worship this way or do that instead of the way they do it.
One abomination to the Lord is discord. It is a sin. We must offer and encourage and yes help (through books, conferences and forums) others to strengthen and deepen their relationship with Christ. This is not accomplished by negative speech, or typing in this case.
I look for new ideas all the time. Our home church is for our family. Others have a larger group. Some are done one way, and others different. I have looked for start up ideas and read books to help us get started. I don't think that are way is best. But, it is working for us. It is not the most disciplined, nor the most consistant. But, Books, conferences and forums helped us get started. I also as a ministry, encourage other traditional churches, share articles and web sites and fill in from time to time in a pulpit, to share a message of God's word. I know very personally some churches have it all wrong and that some pastors are detriminal to Christianity. I have seen some turn from Christianity due to poor pastors and poor 'church going' Bible studying' Christians. But I have also seen some churches that have it right. And, they have produced some Christians that are inspiring.
Let us truely love one another. Let us not talk ill. Remember, out of the heart, the mouth speaks.
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I agree with much of what M.P offered, but wonder about his "they are already toxic" observation. I can't speak for all, of course, but I visited a LOT of churches before dropping out of the institution, because I thought, "there's got to be more to the 'abundant life' than this." And I started reading, NOT because I was "toxic" but because I was "detoxifying" - shedding the paradigm through which I was conditioned to read the NT in order to maybe figure out what church was all about.
I was a 'lone ranger' Christian and didn't want to be. Like every other Christian, I wanted authentic community and didn't know where to find it.
I would, of course, LIKE to find it at home, first. But my kids are grown and gone and my wife is very happy with the institutional church, and has shown no interest in home Bible study or even home discussions of spiritual things. I looked in the bedroom for my household of faith ... and it ain't there.
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Steve, I am so sympathetic. Now, is your wife unwilling to practice hospitality when she is not churching? Is the idea of having company overwhelming to her?
As I used to say to the husbands in our childbirth bible study, "It is the husband's job to make sure the household work gets done, whether by assisting his wife, or by paying someone else to do so!" I toss that out there, because I know that when we were fully engaged in church, I couldn't have imagined having company on any kind of regular basis. Even using some of your tithes to make her job easier, would be a biblical thing to do. Would she be more comfortable having people over for Acts 2:42 fellowship if someone else did some cooking and cleaning?
We are finding that as we weave people into our community, there can be a "jumping" point, where they realize, "Oh, I get it! This is the Kingdom! This is what I've always thought it should be like!" and they don't need church anymore. Not everyone, by any means! But some.
One of the great things about the kingdom, is you can do it anywhere, any time.
So, I wouldn't try to convert my beloved, but rather be the kingdom to him/her, modeling enthusiastic discourse, making every relationship a "kingdom relationship" and expect the Spirit to move. Even just looking at this time as a "desert season" where you are on your own to pray in the kingdom might be necessary.
I had the "revelation" well before my family got on board. I was the most church-y of all, but when I wanted to quit it made everyone else quite uncomfortable. Even my unsaved family members were a bit leary of whether I was quitting church ( which was annoying but harmless) for a "cult".
It is one thing to go along reluctantly to church, another thing to let go of our cultural norms about "what Christians do".
And, I forget, did you post that you have read "Why Men Hate Going to Church"? Helping the Beloved understand that her submission to another man is an assault on you, as her husband, may be something she can sympathize with.
I would also try to do more, more, more of being a loving husband in every way, see "church" as a recruiting ground for the Kingdom, and get deeper, deeper into the Word. A man who is showing spiritual leadership and loving husbandly qualities can be very persuasive. (And please note, I'm not saying you are falling short in any of these ways! Only that we are human and can always do more to please our spouse.)
"Dear Lord, I pray that Steve will see Your Kingdom in his midst very soon!"
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