We get together with Jim's extended family usually once every week or two, and that brings the total to roughly 13-15 people in a fairly close time of eating, visiting and coming together on a fairly regular basis, usually for at least several hours. (My family is scattered everywhere, so I don't see them often, or all together at once but RARELY). We see our friends sporadically, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, whenever. Some things are planned, and some are 'spur-of-the moment' situations.

Jim's family reunion happens once a year, with various distant cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. coming in for a 2 day "meeting" in a location convenient to nearly all. I think the last count was in the vicinity of 150 people for this kind of reunion.

Just as with "normal families", one by one, the kids grow up, and move away from home, and begin families of their own. If we could grasp the concept of "body life/family life" in the church with this as a "model" of sorts, we wouldn't be such sticklers for form. God says we are family of "brothers and sisters", so looking at our churches (home and otherwise) as FLUID and EVER CHANGING, because of varying stages of growth and maturity, etc. We should not be so worried as to how many we should have, when we should divide up, etc. Just as in families, some brothers and sisters spend more time with not only the ones they are close in age with, but also those that have more in common with, with whom they may have like giftings and personalities.(this is hard for me, too, as I am an "organizer" by nature, and this kind of "non-organized" organism is hard for me to deal with...I want to "contain it", "label" it, "schedule it" and "plan it", just like the other things in my life...but it doesn't work that way. (Fortunately, His grace supplies me with necessary fruit to overcome this.)

My own experience has also born witness to something a very wise (elder) man told me once.

"Jesus", he said, "had His hands full trying to disciple 12 twelve men (and in a somewhat more distant way, their families). If twelve was our Lord's "limit", then how can we think that we could "pastor" more than that?"

I think that we should be prayerful in the situation that the Lord leads us into, not limiting Him, but not going overboard, thinking we have to do it all ourselves, and trying to corral a large assembly regularly.

Using the family as a model, we should be prepared when the Lord first brings TWO together in very close relationship, and then add one or two more, and then a few more, and then when the living room gets too full, and people no longer share the intimate details, struggles and sins of their life because the group is not so intimate, then it is probably too big. Nothing says that once you are in a "group" you have to divide a certain way. Let some of those who have shown some maturity and wisdom and Godly character in their lives take the regular responsibility for 3 or 4 saints of lesser "age", and begin to "mother and father them", and get input from the first group as necessary. And nothing says that all the "kids" in the Lord can't meet for some fellowship now and again....and it is NECESSARY for those (adults) who have moved on to "strong meat" in the things of the Lord to have some serious COMMUNION about those things that they see the Lord doing in and moving on to maturity. (I am speaking of Spiritual Growth here, and not necessarily physical age.) That is ONE thing that I knew the OC to be doing wrongly...separating the people into "male and female", and by physical age, instead of by the needs of the the spiritual stages of growth.

I hope I haven't sounded "preachy", or anything, but when we left the OC, we immediately thought to 'start' another "fellowship" in homes, and thought, "the more, the better", and WE were going to be the ones to do it "right"...NOT!!

The first few meetings (about 6 or 8 of us) were fluid....no agendas, lots of food and getting to know one another,sharing hurts, hopes and the love of Christ. Since the first ones were so "successful", we brought in more, and began to "get organized"...and it fell dead at our feet. The more people there are, the less "intimate" the group is, and the more temptation to try and bring "order" to what looks like chaos and no discipline. Letting the Lord lead and guide sounds so easy, but it is harder than it looks, and calls for maturity and prayer to stay "on track".

To everything, there is a season, (turn turn turn) and so there is a time for having small groups (Really small) and large meetings...a time for fellowship of the most 'disorganized' sort, and a time for "order and reverence"....a time for speaking, and a time for listening....a time for 'doing', and time for just 'being' ....and also a time to "hang on" to the ones the Lord brings, and a time to "let go", when the Lord moves someone on. Knowing these times takes wisdom, and maturity and love. I pray this for all of us.

I hope this has helped someone else....we had to learn this the hard way.

Love in Him,

You can email me - or I'll look back here periodically,

thanks,

I'm very interested in your emphasis on small group ministry to youth and also in the direction which your church is considering (toward de-emphasizing "church services" and moving toward house meetings).

I have browsed through your web site and there is much that is very commendable. One thing in particular that really impressed me was your view of the unity in Body of Christ and the recognition that one group of believers is NOT in competition with another down the street, but rather they are designed to minister to one another!

But to get to your questions...you wrote:
"How do you meet the needs of emerging adolescents? Do you do anything different for them in your House Churches? How do they blend? How does it work for you guys?"

In our house church gathering (which began in Feb. 2001) the leaders have never scheduled or arranged any S.S. classes for various ages, young peoples' programs, men's or women's ministries etc. All are included and all are able to participate when we come together. It has been that emphasis that has drawn young people! About 50% of those in the gathering are 21 and under. Does this mean that specific kinds of ministries do not take place? Absolutely not! The believers are encouraged to utilize their gifts and to minister as God (not any church staff or leaders) direct them. Primarily because of the exercise of one brother, we had a men's weekend retreat last fall. A sister spearheaded a Saturday women's retreat. Two young people (out of their own desire to serve the Lord) went overseas this past summer as leaders of teams of young people with Teen Missions International. The house church gathering did not corporately decide to share in their support, but various individuals voluntarily decided to give and provided over half of the funds which were necessary. More teens from the gathering are anticipating summer missions trips next year.

By the way, we have never had a corporate collection in any of our gatherings! Since we have no building to maintain and no staff salaries to pay, 100 % of the saints giving is directed toward ministry to others as God directs each member! We believe that I Cor.16:1,2 does not set forth a corporate collection, but rather collections by individual saints who lay by in store so that each has a "store" from which to draw as God directs them to minister to needs that he brings to their personal attention. This has brought a tremendous sense of liberty and a deep sense of satisfaction to all (including the teens)who were previously used to "giving to the church" and having little or no personal involvement in contributing to specific needs as God directs!

The young people (again, on their own and without any "adult supervision" per ce) carry on a regular weekly ministry of music and conversation with folks in a home for the elderly in which they are building relationships and friendships with folks they minister to. Also, they have begun their own weekly Bible Study which meets in the home of a different young person each week. They are enjoying the study of scripture without any "curriculum", "study guide", or appointed leader. They are learning that the Holy Spirit is able to guide them into all truth. You can read an account of this study, written by one of the teens in the group, under the first topic in the "Children and Family" section of this forum. Furthermore, two teenagers (one a pianist and the other a guitarist) provide most of the musical accompaniment to the singing in our gatherings. They have not been asked or appointed to do so, but as folks are encouraged to minister to others in the area of their particular gifts, they have done just that and their ministry in this way is deeply appreciated!

This is just a brief account of how God is working in and through young people in our particular house church. I hope others will also share how young people in other house churches are encouraged to minister and actually do minister to others.