In His mercy, the Lord delivered me, and I've been seeking a healthy "church" home ever since. What I've discovered, as I'm sure those who frequent here already have, that "churches" are businesses, and comprised of 95% politics, agendas, traditions, self-absorbed committees/activities, and only 5% Jesus. (And I think I'm being generous here.) Perhaps most discouraging of all is that so much legalism exists. Even 2000 years after Jesus birthed the "Church" people are still trying to look to the Old Covenant as their standard, rather than the Living Jesus Christ.

I don't disparage the biblically illiterate, for there but for the grace of God would I still be. I don't disparage the "Marthas" because such was I until Jesus showed me that Mary made the better choice. I fully understand that there will be counterfeit Christians among the elect (the tares among the wheat) until Christ returns. I also acknowledge that even true believers grow at different rates, and are called by God out of a variety of circumstances.

However, I still can't find a local church where Jesus is elevated above tradition; and where relationships matter more than rules and regulations (apart from basic, sound doctrine, that is). I'm exhausted from searching.

I do seek the fellowship of like-minded believers daily--both in person and in cyber space. I know we need fellowship to grow. But, I also reject the nonsense that being a part of a local denomination necessarily equates with being together with believers. Much of my experience has placed me among church-goers--but not believers. I might as well have stayed home.

I'm glad to have found this site and look forward to sharing more of others' insights about this. I love Jesus with all my heart. I am a member of His body. I love the Word of God. I love to share and pray with/for other believers. I care deeply about the mandates outlined in Matthew 25 to take care of the needs of others. I just can't get past the abject nonsense the exists in the organized, visible church today, all in the name of Christ. If I perceived that the percentages I mentioned above were reversed, then I would not advocate "throwing the baby out with the bathwater." However, that's just not the case. Modern, visible, organized churches are so full of blather that I can't believe more believers don't recognize this.

Grace-fully in Jesus,

I encourage you my brother as you continue this journey to trust in him with all your might, For Romans 8:28 is true in the matter of finding fellowship as well as all other situations (all things) in our life.

I hate to be the harbinger of bad news (OK, not really, when it means the good news is right behind it) but the time we are in now precludes the idea that ANY "organized, institutionalized church" steeped in tradition, and operated by a clergy is going to "change"....the organization may well rid itself of some of the more troublesome members (you know, folks like yourself who they claim are "rebellious, and troublemakers, stirring up dissension", et al. The sad truth is that the clergy based institutional church is NOT going to be healed, changed, fixed, or "revived". It is THE SYSTEM behind it that empowers it, and her downfall is already predicted in Revelation, Chapter 18, so why do you continue to struggle with her? The best thing to do is to leave quietly, WAIT upon the Lord, and let Him make you ready for real life. I promise you that He will bring (in due time) one or two others (or more?!) with the same spirit (at first, you may not be agreed in doctrine completely, but hang in there.) Keep it simple, saints...RELAX...eat together, talk and get to really KNOW one another, with no agenda, no program and no "rules", and let the Lord lead from there. As one who fights daily with my flesh about "organization, order, rules and plans" and that type of thing (all of which come from my flesh, of course) I know how hard this is to practice. Just "BE" the church...don't try to "have" church.
Don't look at any meeting as "church", and look at every opportunity as "fellowship". You have got to get the Babylon out of you, AFTER you get out of Babylon. Just remember...it is not the people as much as it is the system and the spirit that drives it that are "bad"...LOVE them to death...they won't be able to resist you. (smile)
One other thing....if people you know are happy at the "First Dead Church of Babylon", don't even bother to try and get them stirred up (learned that the hard way.) Leave them there, and just meet anyone God brings you. If you try to "put it together" with those of your own choosing, it is doomed to fail. God will bring you some of the most "odd" and, in your opinion, "difficult" people you have ever met. Let Him set this up.

We have been doing this for 5 years...most of the time we have walked alone, but as we have grown in maturity, God has been faithfull to bring a few more closer to us to listen.

Recently, there was a meeting in the next town over (a SMALL town), and an itinerant apostle finally had the opportunity to bring a "come out of her, my people" message. THERE WERE OVER 100 PEOPLE AT THIS MEETING...and I assure you that one year ago, this would NOT have happened. For years I cried, "Lord, why am I the only one?" I found out that had He not taken me out earlier than most, forced me to "walk this out" with ONLY HIM as my anchor, completely devoid of the approval and support of men (and in the face of constant pressure and "stoning" with the Word by my "churched" religious brothers), I would not have been equipped to deal with this group who are just now recognizing the call to come out as the Lord's voice. There are a few who know that they can call us, and ask questions, and share their true feelings and fears, and concerns with us, and I thank God now for those awful days when I was so "alone" that I was sure that I would perish. It is just boot camp, guys....preparation for the MULTITUDE who will slowly be making their way back to the true Body of Christ. Someone has to have walked this way to help the new ones...and maybe this time, you are called to be "first" in your town.

Chin up, you guys...it will be okay.

WHY, Lord, are there very few to NONE around us for fellowship? It would seem that by looking at the posts here, that single candles are being lit 100 miles apart. Are we 'wrong' in our attitudes? Our Philosophies? Or do You have a plan that we just cannot see?

I had asked the Lord some years back Why it seemed that "I'm the only one" who sees this dead body (system) for what it is, and there is NO ONE to comfort me...to fellowship with....to hold my hand in this dry and wilderness place.

This was His answer to me: had there been some "flesh" for me to lean on...to depend on...to receive "comfort" from during the initial stages of "coming out", the work needing to be done in me (basicially to HEAR HIM ONLY), would not have come about. In spite of the loneliness...the despair...the darkness (at times), this was a necessary phase that ALL OF US MUST PASS THROUGH (Jesus did it, and are we any better than Him?). The Lord ALONE is to be our EVERYTHING, and having just come out of the bondage of men, and their iron grip on us, what do we suppose the very next thing is for us, after we have recognized the system for the evil it is? For God to strip us of the reliance on the flesh...our flesh, and anyone elses, as a source of strength and comfort.

Paul, as the Lord apprehended Him, once he received his "sight", went WHERE? well, he joined a local home fellowship (Phoebe's House church)....NOT!!!!

He, like Jesus, went and spent some long solitary time in the Arabian desert with who? (other, like-minded believers, right?) Guess again. The Lord. The Lord. The Lord.

How I ache for you all...I KNOW what you are going through; the uncertainty, the isolation, the lack of just being able to pick up the phone or run across the street for prayer with a friend. All have deserted you, and the Lord, in His wisdom, has left you ALONE.

But, at some point, this, too, shall pass, and little by little...one by one...the Lord will lead you, or will lead others to you. These "fittings to gether"...the TRUE ASSEMBLING of the Body...will be a sovereign act of God--divine miracles bringing together those who will have true, deep and lasting relationships based in Him...and not on doctrinal unity, or denominational likeness, or cultural similarity. These LIVING relationships will develop out of love, not from just being thrown together like a bunch of religious "parts" into a box, hoping/confessing that somehow, a "Body" working in harmony will just magically manifest from the sheer act of being in that same box for a scant few hours a week.

Here is an example: The Lord brought me (after most of my "wilderness time") ONE friend (and her husband)...who is fifty miles away. Our relationship is one cultivated by a mutual understanding and calling in the Lord, strengthened by an AWFUL time of disagreement, crucifixion of the flesh, and glorious, miraculous restoration by the Power of the Holy Spirit. Only upon my being faithful in that relationship, did He give me one more....a farm hand in our area that barely speaks English. Recently, a man and his wife in a neighboring town have been added (by the connection to a Kingdom brother in California, traveling through the area). 5 years, and all I have to show for it is a grand total of 5 people whom I can truly say that I "fellowship" with. These people, (even if I never have any more) are the ones who I can go to for confession, for prayer, for consolation...FOR REBUKE if I need it!!...for ANYTHING....Truly brothers in every sense of the Word.

Don't try to force this. I did, at first. I went out looking for those people I thought I could fellowship with, and since I didn't know my butt from a hole in the ground about "being" the church, there was no way to "meet" on common ground. We each brought too much "Babylonian baggage" to the table to be able to truly "eat" the pure word of the Lord. Trust me...eating manna in the wilderness is PREFERABLE to the vomit on the tables of men.

In due time, when the Lord has brought you sufficiently through all those "encampments" that you HAVE to stop at in the wilderness, He will be faithful to bring you to the Promised Land. Occasionally, there will be water poured forth to refresh you (in the form of others like you), but REST in Him, til this work is completed.

Don't give up, brothers and sisters. This journey is just beginning, but I promise you, it will be a precious time to you in years to come. Right now it looks pretty bleak, but it will produce such sweet fruit of lasting duration that will you see that you would never have made it to the other side without it.

One other thing: The reason that you MUST endure this time, is a lot like the reason that Jesus had to go through it. Without the wilderness "testing" of your spirits, when the "Religious" try and poke holes in your Truth, and trip you up, and ensnare you with rhetoric, and tempt you away from that which GOD has given you by revelation, you will NOT be able to withstand them, and they will EAT YOU ALIVE. This time is to strengthen you, and make you strong IN HIM...and once you are fit to STAND, then and only then will you be able to help others stand. The Lord will be bringing others out, too, and you cannot help them if you have not first learned the things you need to know. God knows when this time is over for you, so wait on Him.

I pray for you all, my brothers, for I know how you feel. The Lord bless and keep you, and if there is anything I can do for any of you to encourage and strengthen you, do not hesitate to contact me.

CHRIST IN US, THE HOPE OF GLORY

A common theme I see in these letters is "wilderness". The wilderness has provoked such mixed emotions for me, but I am at the place in my walk where I no longer dread this purging time. It has been over eight years since my husband and I left organized church. And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. Since our departure from the IC, at various junctures we have met and fellowshipped with beautiful, amazingly expressive brothers and sisters. However, at this time, we are just two. And praise God, I have learned to be content with whatever fellowship the Father brings my way. Sometimes part of me wants to go out and seek other home-churching families (i.e. "to make something happen") but a bigger part of me knows that He is faithful and I must wait at His feet for that blessing.

I have also seen the Father occasionally bring me fellowship in the most interesting, unexpected places! Like on a flight to Seattle a few weeks ago--where I ended up having wonderful fellowship with a brother who was on his way back to Alaska from Minnesota. Gary and I had a great time sharing Jesus for the three hours on that flight--giving me yet another glimpse of the truth of "where two or three are gathered in My name" that He indeed IS right in the midst of our gathering!

Maybe someday I will be in the midst of a dynamic, groundbreaking home church where I am really able to soar and discover the heights and depths of His love as expressed through the gathering--but until that time, I will not grow discouraged in this beautiful place called "the wilderness."

Take heart, you aren't alone. What you feel and share here is being multiplied. There is a growing dissatisfaction with fluff christianity. It does seem a revival, if not renaissance and reformation, has begun. He is leading us to Himself again. It is exciting to hear what He has done for you in molding you towards His image and towards following Him wholeheartedly.

Your pioints also remind me of a lesson I learned the hard way. Let any who read this remember we need to take care about bitterness. I got caught in that trap for a few years. Awful. Far better to love each saint of His however they may be found. They are His servants, and it isn't ours to judge another's servant. We simply cannot second guess our Master nor His servant's hearts and journey. I have found great freedom by actively loving and seeking to bless His poeple however and wherever they are.

Let me share an oft unheaded and disregarded warning from James in 3:14-16:
"But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work."

Let love guide our journey, not frustration and bitterness. It is very easy to be fooled to think our anger and wrath is righteous. I've seen too many very insightful people destoryed in bitterness.

Anyway, we can rejoice- He is at work building His church even now!

Last March I was diagnosed with cancer and have pursued natural remedies. In this process I have seen that before I was able to take advantage of healthy nutrious food I had to sacrifice my former habits, life style, and desires for many foods and drinks. I began many months of detoxification to prepare my body for what can really make it healthy.

Some of you have described a time in your life as a "wilderness experience" and I have also been experiecing that over the last 8 years having left organized religion behind. I am also seeing that this time is a detoxifcation where the Holy Spirit becomes iconoclastic as He prepares me to participate in the purity and healthiness of HIS body. There is a cleansing going on bothers and I'm starting to get excited about what it will lead to. I sense something will happen soon.

It was refreshing to read of your analogy of "detoxification" in describing this process of being renewed inwardly after coming out of institutionalized church. This is a wonderful way to picture what the Lord is doing in all of us, and while it isn't easy--and certainly not "fun"--the end result is purity. Praise God!

Thanks for sharing. I pray you are being restored and healed of the cancer, as well. God's blessings,

God be with you.