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For forty five years I've struggled with faith and war and a stress injury. Ordained in 1963 (Presbyterian USA), Bible study group for 5 years as an evangelical independent and that is where it came together. My wife and I have a church of two and we live every day for the Lord Jesus. The book is at http://jvet.freeservers.com It is a record of a struggle of the soul. It is a fictional autobiography but you can know that it is personal with some fiction to add to the story. You can read 25 pages to get the idea. It was therapy for me and it took all that time to be able to say it out loud. This isn't a sales pitch but encouragement for you to look for answers in what the traditional Christian may feel is unorthodox - getting out of churchianity. Our church (two of us) is the only way we can survive and continue as Christians. We're certain that if there is a better way for us we will be led there. We have been led to where we are and Praise God.