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Not long ago while visiting with my folks and friends, I chatted with a man who was pondering his relationship with his now grown son. He lamented, as I think most of us parents do that he didn’t do, say or was involved enough. And today it seems as though the son is bitter, angry or not communicating.
While listening, I was reminded of a very basic fact of life and dance; it takes two to tango. Communication is a two-way sport and the two-part law of sowing and reaping applies to children and parents equally without respecter of persons. In other words, children play a big role in their outcome as well.
Who is a perfect parent? Would it not be our Heavenly Father? If so, let’s judge his parenting skills and see how well some of his kids turned out:
In Genesis 3, God gave his two children paradise. But despite clear warnings, they disobeyed His simple instructions, incurring irreparable damage for themselves and every living soul yet to come.
When God delivered the children of Israel out of bondage, his kids complained, argued and rebelled. Later, on the brink of inheriting a promised land, they couldn’t enter in because of unbelief. They had more faith in giants than in the God who delivered and provided for their every need.
And even after paying the full price for our sins, offering salvation for all who believe, our Father will still see the vast majority of his children refuse his love and choose the broad way that leads to destruction.
If as parents, we’ve done something specific that we need to seek forgiveness about and make right, then we should do it – no if’s, and’s or but’s. But if we can look ourselves in the mirror and know that we did our best, or at least tried our best to be decent parents, then maybe it’s time to give ourselves a break and lay aside the club we so regularly pick up and beat ourselves with.
Some of our children might be angry with us because despite our warnings they sowed wild oats. And when harvest came – as it always does – we didn’t bail them out or help “enough” with the reaping. Isn’t an ounce of prevention still better than a pound of cure? Wisdom refused is help refused. (Proverbs 1:20-33)
The sobering testimony of God, our perfect Father is that most of his children have turned away, strayed or refused correction. Few will endure to the end, loving their Lord with all of the heart, soul, mind and strength.
Parents, and in particular fathers, who seem to be the brunt of most jokes on TV and movies, I write this to offer some encouragement. If we tend to live our days mentally punishing ourselves for “not always being there” or “not doing enough” etc., let’s keep in mind that we’re not perfect, our parents weren’t perfect and our children aren’t perfect. And even if we were, there’s no guarantee that our kids would’ve turned out any differently.
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