Why is it that so many church assemblies today are so cold, so superficial, so mean-spirited?

I am a big fan of exhortation to good works, and to holding each other responsible for their respective actions. We need to make sure our doctrine is in accordance with the Holy Scriptures, the Bible. There is such a thing as tough love, and I would rather see someone come to repentance and be truly born again than to feel comfortable in their sin and fool themselves that they are saved.

However, I for one do not care what your doctrine is, how patriarchal you are, how well-behaved your homeschooled children are, how submissive your denim-jumpered wife is, how well you know the Bible or the Reformed teachings of Calvin, Knox, Luther or Augustine, how many church offices you have held or how many books or tapes you have in your library...if you do not have and show love to my family and me.

I have found many families to be islands unto themselves. They may love their own family members (as they should), but do not seem to acknowledge that we are all one Body of Christ, we are all sinners descended from Adam, saved by the grace of God, and we all need love and forgiveness.