House Church Talk - Practical HC Question.... [long post]

[Scott Dowlen]

Hey, there, Tom!

I'm not sure what you're asking specifically.  But I will be more than happy
to share part of my story with you to see if that helps.

I grew up in a legalistic denomination. So legalistic, in fact, that they
argued that they weren't a denomination because they were a restoration of
the original.  Head knowledge and strict interpretation of scripture
(according to our "historical understanding" - A.K.A. "doctrines of men")
were the mainstay of teaching.  We knew nothing of the Holy Spirit other
than He was mentioned a time or two ;-) in the NT.  The OT, of course was
largely useless because after all, it got nailed to the cross and we became
spiritual Israel and physical Israel went down the tubes.  The kingdom was
here and now, not in some 'millennium', and the miraculous manifestations
ended when the original apostles croaked.

I give you that history not to run down people with those beliefs, because
many of them are dear souls who love the Lord but can't yet see that God has
more for us. I just want you to know from whence I have come.

God started working in my life in power after taking a course called
"Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the will of God."  It was then that I
started thinking that if the Holy Spirit is the breath of God living in me,
that He could work in me in the ways I read about through the whole Bible.
He could use me like Daniel, or Elijah. He could use me like Peter and Paul.
At the time I went through the course, I suffered from fairly regular
migraine headaches.  My wife had grown tired of my suffering, and had taken
me to a doctor who gave me a self-injection medicine that did help.  Well,
for 'some reason' I had forgotten to refill my prescription and started to
get a headache.  With my new hope in the power of God, I realized I had
never asked God to heal me.  My prayer was something like "God, if you'll
heal me this time, I'll refill my prescription and not let it run out
again."  Before I finished my prayer, the headache was completely gone!
Still, I didn't refill my Rx, and it was about a year later I realized that
God had given me more than I had asked or imagined -- he had permanently
healed me from those migraines.  It has been more than ten years now,
headache free.

Since then it has been a slow process of peeling off false doctrines,
preconceptions, my own limited thinking, and biased interpretation of
scriptures.  I still have a long way to go.  But a few years after my
healing, and after much seeking God in places where I hadn't sought Him
before, he finally spoke to me.  I just asked, "God am I ever going to hear
you speak?" and He answered "Yes". He doesn't speak to people because they
can quote whole books of the Bible in King James, or because they are
super-good or super-holy - He speaks to people who are simply listening
expectantly.

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me

We can hear Him today. He still speaks. And He is a God of deep emotion,
deep passion and love.  Even in correction He is sweet and gentle. He smiles
and laughs. He enjoys us like a loving father enjoys his young children.

The sad thing is, you find so many people content to be shallow. "Keep God
in the book, keep my Sunday friends in the building, and leave the rest of
my life alone."  Or people so deep in doctrines that every jot and tittle is
nailed down perfectly, but the heart goes unopened (Isa 29:13)

I found myself being drawn deeper in love with God. More intimate, more
hungry for His presence. But something was still missing. He started telling
me through scripture and in our conversations that I only had part of the
picture. Intimacy with Him is great, but cannot be complete without intimacy
with other people.  I have a friend who says that the word 'fine' is the
Christian 'F' word.  It hides the truth, because like Billy Crystal's
character Fernando used to say "It's better to look good than to feel good,
darling!  And you look marvelous!"  Too many churchians are more concerned
about looking good.

After all, isn't it un-spiritual to have problems? to be mad at God? to be
frustrated or tired?  Aren't we supposed to live every minute like we're
already walking on streets of gold?  All this is a lie, and truth is not in
it.

We read the Psalms and see David being angry and frustrated -- being real
with God. And David is one of the few singled out as a friend of God.

So I wanted reality. Real relationships with people.  But I was rather
handicapped in that arena - paralyzed by fear and unforgiveness; never
having seen people open up and be real; afraid of the conflict that lies
between here and intimacy. Conflict does lead to intimacy, but we don't know
how to go through it in productive ways. So we avoid conflict and wonder why
we can't know people. We wonder why we can't connect or relate except in
superficial ways. Even to our own spouse, our own kids.

So now God is leading my family to study, worship, and fellowship in smaller
settings that allow each member to bring their gifts and ministries. A place
where intimacy can grow. A place where we can be real and share our hurts
and frustrations, or joy and victories. A place where we can confess our
sins to each other and not fear rejection, but instead find encouragement
and support to get up and stand again.  Where people take up arms with each
other to go kick down the gates of hell. All under the power and leading of
the sweet Holy Spirit. We are expecting Him to work in each of us to do the
ministry of Christ - teaching, preaching, and healing (Matt 4:23; Mark
16:17).

I have been pleased to hear some people share that they have the freedom to
still meet with 'building believers' in addition to their home fellowship.
I have been instructed for now to not go to the buildings. But that is His
word to me, not as a binding command on anyone else.

I don't know what else to share. My journey has been slow because I am so
slow to give in to His work in my life.  I can't claim anything that He has
done or given as something I deserve.  He didn't choose me because I am
eloquent or good at anything. I am just a child who loves to climb in His
lap and look into His smiling face. I love to hear Him sing and speak. He is
so good.

You probably didn't want the long version, but I had some time today and now
you're stuck with it!  ;-)

Scott



> -----Original Message-----
> From: House Church Talk -bounces at housechurch.org
> [mailto:House Church Talk -bounces at housechurch.org]On Behalf Of Tom Kline
> Sent: Friday, 24 October, 2003 9:27 AM
> To: House Church Talk
> Subject: RE: House Church Talk -  Practical HC Question....
>
>
> Scott,
>    Your practical help and input here is greatly appreciated by this
> wandering soul, tell me more!  Your brother, tom.
>
> "The Surprise of marriage is not that adults produce children but that
> children produce adults whereby moving one more center of the universe
> to maturity"
>
>
>
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