House Church Talk - CHURCHES ARE SPREADING MAD COW DISEASE

[R.L. Johnson]

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CHURCHES ARE SPREADING MAD COW DISEASE


By Coach Dave Doubenmire
January 8, 2004
NewsWithViews.com

What is all of the fuss about? Mad cow disease is nothing new. It has been
poisoning America for years.

It is an insidious disease, scientists tell us, attacking the central
nervous system. The results are not immediate, sometimes taking years to
manifest, but the results are devastating. It slowly hinders ones ability to
think, leading eventually to dementia and the total loss of the power to
reason.

"Is our meat supply safe?" the headlines ask. Can you trust Wendy’s and
McDonalds? Can you be sure that the meat at your local grocery is not
tainted? Just to be safe, maybe it would be wise to stop eating meat.

Perhaps we should ask pastors the same questions. Is the meat they are
serving us safe?

The Church, for generations the central nervous system of America, has
been ravaged by Mad Cow. Once the safe-guard of our nation, she has lost
her ability to reason. How else can you explain the inability to
distinguish those who are churched from those who are not? Dementia is
running rampant because we have been fed a contaminated Gospel.

Hebrews 5-14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even
those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good
and evil.

The disease infected us quietly. Despite the firm warning of some of our
veteran chefs, our seminaries were turning out a new breed of cooks, with
fancy recipes for a new casserole. It looked good, it tasted fine, and it
appeared to have no negative effects on those who ate it. America, we were
told, was ready for a new dish, one that could be easily prepared in the
micro wave, and we liked this new chef. He seemed like such a nice man.

Certainly he would not give us tainted food.

Many pastors were leery at first, holding fast to older, proven methods,
warning about the dangers of feeding people this rotten flesh. But
gradually,
as they began to watch those short-order cooks who served this meat grow
larger churches, the temptation became too great. This new, improved
hamburger
helper, flavored not with salt, but with the spices of diversity and
tolerance,
looked and smelled the same. But it was easier to digest than the food the
pastors use to serve and it required almost no chewing. Seven course meals
were out and fast food was in. Three points and a poem replaced fire and
brimstone.


"Feed my sheep", Jesus said. So the churches did. The new, seeker-friendly
menu was great for business. The cafeteria was full, and more customers
were coming every week. A generation starving for spiritual nourishment
was being spoon fed poison meat.

Consider the entrees these enlightened chefs served.

"Jesus loves you in spite of your sin. He will be your best buddy"
"Divorce is okay because God wants you to be happy"
"Jesus died to deliver you from poverty. He wants you rich"
"God made you gay. He loves you and so do we"
"Abortion isn’t murder. It is a choice between a woman and her Dr."
"Open hearts, open doors, open minds"
"Who are you to judge?"
"All religions are the same. People just have different names for God."

Sort of makes your stomach growl, doesn't it?

Pardon my cold-heartedness PETA, but the chickens have come home to roost.

Someone call the FDA! Some pastors are spreading Mad Cow disease and America
is losing her mind!

Check the symptoms. Gays want to marry and churches bless the union. In
fact, we now have gays offering the sacraments. MOO!

Fifty percent of all Christian marriages end in divorce and the Church
crows about defending the sanctity of that union. MOO!

We have condoms to prevent disease and abortion to prevent children. MOO!

We educate our kids in Godless schools but rave about their sports
program. MOO!

But why worry? Our attendance is up and so is the Dow. Things are looking
better.

Mad Cow has taken over. We are losing our minds.

In the area where I live Amish food is gaining popularity. Restaurants
serving "Home-style cooking" have customers standing in line. Sick of fast
food and microwave dinners Americans are finding something of value in the
old ways of cooking. It has a more lasting taste, and as Grandma used to
say, it "sticks to your ribs".

We need a new diet. The time has come when pastors must feed the flock
something that "sticks to the ribs". Years of greasy Grace have lead to
dazzling showcase but an empty stockroom. Rewrite the menu and include
some old family basics.

"The soul that sins, it shall die"
"God hates the workers of iniquity".
"In righteousness He doth judge and make war."
"Be not deceived for God is not mocked. For whatsoever a man sows, that
also shall he reap."
"Be ye Holy, for I am Holy".

Alexis de Tocqueville is credited with having said:

"I sought for the key to the greatness and genius of America in her
harbors
in her fertile fields and boundless forests; in her rich mines
and vast world commerce; in her public school system and institutions
of learning. I sought for it in her democratic Congress and matchless
Constitution. Not until I went into the churches of America and heard
her pulpits aflame with righteousness did I understand the secret of
her genius and power. America is great because America is Good, and
if America ever ceases to be good America will cease to be great."

Any nutritionists will tell you "You are what you eat." America,
look in the mirror. Do you like what you see?

Mooo!


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Coach Dave Daubenmire hosts a talk show called Pass
The Salt heard on The Word 880am WRFD in Columbus, Ohio.
A former high school football coach sued by the ACLU in
1999 for praying with his football team, Coach Daubenmire
is President of Pass The Salt Ministries www.ptsalt.com
and Minutemen United www.minutemenunited.org, which are
dedicated to standing for Christian values in the Public
arena. Coach can be contacted at coach at ptsalt.com.


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