Closeness of the church

I had a very good time of fellowship with a couple brethren yesterday. I just met them for the first time about a week ago and yesterday was the first time where we actually sat down, had some food together and had a few hours of fellowship, talked about various issues in Christendom today, our journey as His followers, Scripture related things, etc. and at the end prayed together (praise the Lord!) As we were talking, one of the things that came up was if I have brethren in the area that I really connect with. (I knew what he was talking about) And I gave him my answer. He asked why I think there is such a problem in this area (most relationships among brethren in the church being so shallow) and why this is an issue today in Christendom and I laid out my thoughts about what I believe are the reasons and what can/should be done to change this (as this is something I have thought about a lot and have written about).This is really a huge issue I believe - there being so little/almost no close bonding/intimate relationships among brethren in the church and that just being how it is (the norm). Most relationships that one has in a local church (or universal church – here in the US) are very shallow (as he described it – relationships where it’s just saying hi, how are you and maybe briefly talking about how the week was - and that’s it – that’s how far the relationship goes) and only with a very small number/percentage of those in the church people may have a bit of a deeper/close relationship. It’s supposed to be the case where you have brethren you’re really close to that you feel (and are) brothers/sisters/family members with (which is what we are in Christ – siblings that have the same Father) that you are very close to and family with and when it comes to men with men and women with women - can share intimate things/struggles/issues with – things that you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with others, you can and do with them – because there’s such a trust and bond; you hold each other accountable, you check on each other, and feel comfortable doing so - you feel comfortable sharing even personal things; they're those you can call up at night when you need a brother/sister to talk to, help and be helped when you’re in need, etc. Sadly this is so missing in lots of churches and it’s a real big issue that some really recognize, others don’t recognize because they just don’t know anything of it (whether from experience or from their knowledge of Scripture). This issue came up a few times even just recently. One of them was a couple days ago from brethren living far away who are having a hard time finding a church where there’s actual biblical relationships (their experience - that even though he made it clear to someone in his church he wanted accountability, there was pretty much nothing that was done, no taking seriously) and yesterday it came up again. (Not to mention, in the previous area I lived in, I met 3 more brothers that had this issue in mind – one was at a local Bible study group where one of the men with a broken heart shared that even after living in the same area for over 15-20 years, he did not have one brother that he can just call up at night and talk to when he needs someone to talk to).One of the points I made about the reason for the problem was the fact that so many (even true believers) just never had such a thing, such close bonds/relationships (that the Bible lays out, expects there to be) they just don’t know anything of it. Therefore, they don’t (can’t) expect it (to take place). So they don’t expect it from the giving end and don’t expect it from the receiving end and therefore it just doesn’t happen. And because they’re not used to it and it’s foreign to them if someone acted/did something with that kind of mindset/understanding/relationship picture in mind, (for example, the first day they met, they were invited to their home) they would take it to be odd/even strange (and it wouldn't work out).I can go on laying out what I see as the reasons/foundational problems with this issue but I'll just write it out briefly - 1. So many unregenerated church goers in churches being mixed in with the sheep – and all the effect it has 2. like I wrote - so many even genuine believers just don't know about the family aspect of churches/the universal church/close relationships neither from Scripture nor through experience; it's just foreign to them, 3. problem with the leadership - so many that don't know of such biblical things are the leaders leading the churches; the leaders don't know anything of it, so it is never taught or expected. So then how can you expect it to be in the church? 4. Overall a serious lack of passion for Christ (those that are zealous for the Lord naturally and easily connect well and bond naturally with others that are passionate for the Lord. if either person isn't zealous there just isn’t, can't be much of a connection).How is it with your church? How is the dynamic? the relationships in your church? Do you, do the brethren have brethren that are very close to each other? - where you’re really family and each member, or at least most members have at least 1 or hopefully many brethren that they are very close to that they share their lives with? Those they can call up at night when they need a brother/sister to talk to, when they’re struggling, they can visit them/have them visit them and talk together, lay out what's in their heart, pray together, be encouraged, or rebuked if necessary; when there’s a need whether financial, or whatever else they will be there to help? This should be the case with the whole church where such things go on.

May God grant a revelation of such biblical closeness, family aspect and familial love to His church so that when the world sees the church, they can only think and comment, “These guys are so like a family (with each other)” and we have our chance to respond, "That’s because that's what we are." (John 1:12, 1 John 3:1, Mt 12:48-50).(and get a chance to tell them how they can be adopted into God’s family and become a member also)

Addition-And another big thing -Many here in the US notice/recognize the culture here is very individualistic. Compared to other cultures around whether Hispanic or many Asian societies etc the way it is for them. Well what's supposed to be the case when there's Scripture and culture is Scripture have much more dominating prevailing influence that molds and shapes, frames everything. But tragically that's not the case. That's the problem. The individualistic setting, culture, mindset hasn't gotten/isn't changed by the overall effect of Scripture not because Scripture is not powerful enough but because lack of Scripture in the Christians overall.