Dear Brothers and Sisters: 

 I have been studying the language of the New Testament and its linguistic Pragmatics for over 50 years.  I am as confident about my salvation as I am in what I am going to say to you on this subject.    

1 Timothy and Titus are the products of an insidious, surreptitious, ruthless, purely Machiavellian  forger.   There is no scribe helping Paul here.   This is one part:

1 Timothy 6:11,

Σὺ δέ, ὦ ἄνθρωπε [a]θεοῦ, ταῦτα φεῦγε· δίωκε δὲ δικαιοσύνην, εὐσέβειαν, πίστιν, ἀγάπην, ὑπομονήν, [b]πραϋπαθίαν.

 Look what this servant of the d….. sandwiches between “Righteousness” and “faith,” δικαιοσύνην, εὐσέβειαν, πίστιν, and then he finishes his clause with “endurance” and finally, with “gentleness.”  Who would argue with "righteousness" or “gentleness”?  Never mind what has been slipped in the middle.

 The human brain hears the first word in a sentence LOUDER than words in the middle, and the word at the end is the word the brain hears last and the LOUDEST.

Have you every had a teen-aged son?  Ever hear something like this?

 “Dad, mom asked me to go to the store for her to get some milk, cheese, butter, and bread, so can I have the keys to the car?”  

We need milk and bread, right?

Watch this:

“Dad, mom asked me to go to the store for her to get some milk, cheese, and butter.   I have to stop at my girlfriend’s house for mom for just a second, but her house is next to the bakery.  We are out of bread.  Can I have the keys to the car?”

 It is still really all about “milk and bread,” right?  Or, did we add something slippery in the middle?

 Look what this snake added between “righteousness” and “faith,” or δικαιοσύνην, εὐσέβειαν, πίστιν.

  The author slipped in the word εὐσέβειa, or eusebia, between righteousness and faith, two great things if you are a Christian.   Sir, he hid it, and masterfully disguised something that he was taken from paganism.  

 Eusebia in the Greco-Roman world was city-state sponsored, city-state priest controlled, passed on from their ancestors, ritual-prayer-animal sacrifices.  It was the “ritual hoky-poky” of the Greco-Roman temples, and these rituals were law, and attending them was law.  

Do you want the bulls to grow strong?  Well, you have to get the right guy, on the right day, in the right temple, with the right incense, to the right god, with the right cut of the right knife, with the moon just right, and the right stars, to get the bulls next year to grow strong.  Eusebia was the metaphysics of the ancient world.  

Do you want the wheat to grow?  Well, there was a correct ritual with specific steps for that, and only the priests of that temple owned the ritual.  You had to pay him to get the hoky-pokey.  That was Greco-Roman "piety."  

Somewhere between 20% and 50% of all women in the Greco-Roman world died in childbirth.  That isn’t good, right?  Well, if you don’t want that to happen you have to pay the right temple, and the right priest, to do the right “eusebia.”  There is nothing you can do to get it right because only the temple-church-priest owns the ritual.  

Ever hear of a guy named Socrates? People think that he was put to death because he “corrupted the youth of Athens.” That isn’t true. Read Plato’s Apology. He was acquitted of that charge. He was put to death because he was “a-eusebia,” he wouldn’t do his city-state’s sacrifices. He refused to do them. That put the entire city into danger because those ordained rites, city-state rites, city-state mandated rituals kept the people, city, and even the world safe. A-Eusebia was in every sense of the word treason.

Take a second look at Mark 1:1.

“Begins the Good News of Jesus the Messiah.” The oldest versions of Mark do not even say “Jesus the Messiah, the Son of God.” It doesn’t say that. The real Mark 1:1, Begins the Good News of Jesus the Messiah, lines up with Mark 8:29, and Mark 8:29 is exactly the same as Revelations 1:1-10. The entire emphasis is on Messiah. Why?

Ever notice that they had to ask Jesus, “Teach us to pray!” Hold it! These are Jews. Why doesn’t anybody know how to pray to God on their OWN? Did you notice where Jesus says "Go into your house, go into your closet, and pray, God will see you"? Remember that? What is the big deal? Well, in the ancient world your prayers had to be out in the open. Sunday, right? What time? 11 to 12PM, right? Okay, what hour is Apollo Hour? Ever notice that a lot of Baptist Churches look like a Greek temple with a wide white starcase in front?

The metaphysics of the ancient world was called "eusebia." It was step-by-step, priest controlled, priest dictated, as old as the stones, priest-owned correct rites. There was one for every day, every week, every Apollo Day (Sunday), every New Star, every harvest, you name it. And they had to be led and out in the open. See your Illiad chapter 4. Remember Menelaus challenges Paris to go man to man. But, only with a god-certified ritual-rite contract in the OPEN with the sacrifices of King Priam. The sacrifice had to be outside under the sky.

Okay, let's say the author of 1 Timothy meant it in a “New Testament” way. Excuse me, but Jesus died on the Cross to get rid of it. Eusebia is the “correct rite,” and that cost money, lots and lots and lots of money, money for everything in your life. It was the core of Greco-Roman religious life. There was absolutely no such thing as “theology.” There was only “Orthopraxy,” the right rite, and the right rite was a patternistic ritual controlled by the temple, which no one could go into, by the appointed priest. The word is nowhere to be found in the Gospels, ever. Reason? It isn’t Christian. It is in fact the very opposition of Christianity. Go ahead. Look for the word in the Gospels or in Romans. Good luck with that.

That is what the author of 1 Timothyis slipping into Christianity. Jesus’ lesson on the matter, however, was that nobody, absolutely owned the keys to Christian Fellowship. Nobody owned the keys to prayer, nobody. There are a handful of things that Jesus absolutely demanded that we do not do. In the Greek language, the strongest direct order to never, ever, under any circumstances, ever title yourself as a priest, rabbi, minister, pastor, Doctor of Theology, professor of Jesus, absolutely none of it. Banned. Matthew 23 contains the strongest direct order from Jesus. Start to finish, read Matthew and Mark again and look for where Jesus gives direct orders not to do something.

Those were the words from Jesus’ mouth, so they didn't have anything in the Gospels or an athentic letter to build it. So, they did what they had to do, they dressed themselves up as Paul, although the author of 1 Timothy is very, very careful not to lie, ie., the author ever says, “This is Paul writing to you from X.” All the author says is “Paul the Apostle.” The implication is only in the mind of the reader. The only evidence in the text of 1 Timothy that Paul wrote it is that the early 4th century "church" said so.

Without 1 Timothy and Titus, Constantine the 1st had NOTHING in the New Testament to put himself on top of a worldly church organization, and he needed money for walls, lots of walls. Moreover, when King James wanted a new Bible for England, did he invite a single Greek speaking person to sit on his panel? No, he did not. Without 1 Timothy and Titus King James had no New Testament scripture from the Gospels to build a state-run church. Most of the scholars on his board read Latin.

When they burnt Jon of Arc at the stake, guess which book in the New Testament they threw in her face? She was not convicted of witchcraft. She was acquited of that. Read her trial and then read Titus again. Look for this, “Let nobody, anyone, scoff at your authority,” or perhaps, “Let nobody belittle your authority.” How about, “Let no one challenge your authority.” The Greek is really difficult to put exactly into English because we do not live in a vertically bolted world, while the Greco-Roman world was bolted rock solid top to bottom. For example, by around 1000 AD, 1 out of 10 men in Constantinople was a eunuch. What relevancy is that? Well, think of all the rapists we have. Why don't we just ... them or shoot them? Ultimately, we don't live in a ancient society were the entire culture is vertically bolted. According to Arrian, a servant once sat in Alexander's throne. He cut off his head.

Some versions translate “eusebia” as “piety,” but since when is paying a priest to slash a bull’s throat before a god correctly in any way part of Jesus’ “Good News”?

What eusebia did do, however, was put salvation, the gods’ favor, correct worship, solely into the hands of a city-state-controlled temple. Eusebia was legally mandated, mandatory city-state rituals. Ever have that feeling that you "Have to go to church at 11AM on Apollo Day? When you walk out it is about 12PM. Question: what is the Sun at 12-1PM?

It wasn’t just the word “church” that they twisted. Worse than that, they twisted who is in charge of your walk with Jesus, while Jesus died on the Cross so you would have your own direct dial, Holy Spirit HotSpot connection. In 312 AD, that had to go, and so Constantine made it illegal not to go to "Church."

1 Timothy and Titus are the greatest hoaxes to ever be inflicted on humanity. Wallace in Texas might still put 1 Timothy and Titus into the 1st century. But how does 4th century early Byzantine state-temple controlled Christianity suddenly jump back to the 1st century? Answer: The people who did it wanted paganism slipped into Christianity because they wanted to use it to make money. In paganism you had to go to the priest/pastor/minister, whatever word floats your trireme, for a direct connection to God.  Money, it cost money.

One of Eusebius of Caesarea’s biggest lies was that Constantine was a Christian. That myth is still taught, and it is a lie. Read what Gibbon says about Eusebius of Caesarea as a "historian." He calls him the outright biggest liar of any historian. For example, after Constantine’s so-called conversion, he later cut off his son’s head, as a "Christian," and then after that boiled his wife alive.  Notice that Constantine refused baptism all the way up until two or three days before he died.  He knew he was dying.  My cat is more Christian that Constantine the 1st.

Whoever wrote 1 Timothy 6:11 was one of Eusebius of Caesarea’s pals. Jesus didn’t give Christians any power, station, or authority over anyone, not ever apostle over apostle.

 So they did what they had to do to get control over it.  

 They forged them, and they are masterpieces.  1 Timothy and Titus are absolute masterpieces of forgery.  1 Timothy and Titus are faker than a 3-dollar denarius.

1 Timothy and Titus haven’t been listed as 1st century documents by almost all archivists in real universities with programs in Greek papyrology since the 19th century.

Matthew 23: 8-11, If you look, you will see all the words available to the author in the 1st century AD to cover the concepts of teacher, pastor, minister, rabbi, and invent any word you want, but the only ordination Jesus himself granted was brother. No, not friends, brother. Well he didn't say High, Holy, Sacred Hippo. That is right. He didn't because he adamantly covered the entire concept.

Do I trust the words of Jesus, or, do I push Jesus aside because “The Church” said Paul wrote 1 Timothy and Titus and that is the only evidence that there is?  

Friends, Eusebius of Caesarea is not my savior.

Although there are some hold outs, but they are not just "scholars"; people who put them in the 1st century are also paid "preachers," I am nevertheless required to say this because Evangelical Christians will not recognize that these letters are not identified as 1st century documents by the overwhelming majority or Critical Texual New Testament Scholars.  

I will not bring this up again.  I am required to say this just once so that you have at least heard this once.  

Brother, Sir:

I feel most at home in Christ when other brothers are throwing fast balls, and they are throwing them hard.  To me, "fight a good fight" is a passage that I take within the context of the Pragmatics.  FirstL

I apologize.  I have been fighting a good fight with my heart.  I am older now, and I do not know how much time on Earth God has in mind for me.  I have been recovering from quadriple bypass, and now just getting on my feet.  Also, my job.  I am not normal in that I chose 50 years ago not to live in this world.  Rather than pursue a career, I chose to pursue one and one thing only.  That thing has been studying something called "Hellenistic Koine Greek."  And no, I do not mean getting big degrees, and going for doctor this, that, or doctor other thing.  While I have been to 6 universities, I did so only to learn Greek.  It means that I make my living do very odd jobs.  They are odd, lol!  At night, however, I have been studying the language of the New Testament, and its linguistic and Pragmatical context, for over 50 years.  I bought my first Greek grammar book in 1973.  It is on my book shelf.  I am getting old and weak.  I apologize for not getting back to you.  

Are you ready for a "Good fight?"

------------------------

Here is what I think. We base our "dogma" on faith, prayer, study, Fellowship, our walk with Jesus, and scripture. Scripture, we base our understanding on Scripture on what the hand of the author actually wrote, and is the name at the top of that plate, the actual person who that person claimed he was, or, who "tradition" asserts? In other words, we must base our scripture on "scripture." That is our starting point.

If you made it that far, then I am fully confident that Paul would agree you are ready to put on that cestus.    

Let's define what a "Bible Scholar" is.  A Bible Scholar is someone who can read Hellenistic Koine directly from an extent manuscript.  No, not the modern Greek alphabet that they print the Greek New Testament in today.  When we read Homeric, Classical, or Hellenistic Koine, or post-Hellenistic Koine, it looks something like this:

"There once was a Greek from Crete"
He farmed mostly wheat ...
But when he got to Rome, they just sent him home
Because he just never washed his feet.

If you picked up a manuscript written before 500 AD, and even later, it is going to look like this:

THEREONCEWASAGREEKFRO
MCRETEHEFARMEDMOSTLYW
HEATBUTWHENHEGOTTOROM
THEYJUSTSENTHIMHOMEBEC
AUSEHEJUSTNEVERWASHEDH
ISFEET

Now, turn that upside down. Rip it into 20 pieces, and find this

.....UTWHENHEGO .....
TOROMETHEY .....
SENTHIMHOMEBEC
AUSEHEJUSTNEVER
EET

There are about 550 extant Greek books that have been received from the ancient world.  A "Bible Scholar" can look at the above second version and tell you what page of, let's say, Marcus Aureleaus that that chopped up piece of papyri that is the size of a stamp came from.  He has read all of them, and all of them several times.  There are under 100 of these chaps in the entire world.  Most of us specialize in a handful of books.  Read one for 10 years and you almost have it.  We call these types "Critical Textual Scholars."  The dialects are very, very different, and the vocabulary of each author is often totally unque.  There were no dictionaries in Paul's world that we know of.  So spelling too, is tough.  You might find one writer use this, "ICOULDHAVEGONE" where another writer writes "IWOULDHAVEGONE," and the word is only used once by the author.

Ready?

99.9% of every critical textual scholar I have ever met, talk with, or read with, and I have met 4 at Oxford, agree that Paul's Philemon was in truth actually written by him. It is the real deal,Paul's authentic voice. His culture, his language, his grammar, his vocabulary, and his "tone." I have never met another Critical Text expert that would dispute that the historical Paul of Tarsus wrote Romans and Phileon. They spoke Greek in Tarsus.

I am very, very sorry, but 99.9% of those same people adamently do not accept that Titus was written by the historical Paul of Tarsus.  Oh, yes, you will meet many professional "pastors" who can read some Greek who will assert Titus was actually written by Paul.  However, no "museum level" library in the world lists Titus has having been produced in the 1st century.  None.  I believe the guy who runs the "New Testament Manuscript" group in Texas still lists Titus as 1st century.  However, he is a professional "pastor" who makes a living based off of it, and he has written zip on any Greek OTHER than the New Testament.  That disqualifies him.  You cannot be a witness in court for your own dad.  The court will not accept you as a "dispassionate witness," and he has no world class qualifications within the realm of Greek dialects.  Zero.  

Sir, your question centers on one of the hottest topics in "New Testament Textual Criticism."
So, before we talk about your quest, take a breath. If you place the world's best and most fluent readers of Ancient Greek into a room, and I have read with Greek priests who just didn't have a clue, and asked them to stand on one side of the other, not every one of them will stand on the side of Ephesians having been penned in the 1st century. Romans? No problem. Phileon and 1 Cor, no problem, but Ephesians ... Ephesians is about 50/50. There are reasons, real reasons for that, but to see them, you have to be able to read post-Hellenistic Koine as well as your native language, and even better.

To put this in modern context, modern day art forgers study the brushes of the work they are copying. They learn to mix the paint the same way, and they use the same materials to make brushes and paint. They will even steal another painting because they want the canvas. Canvas has pollen in it.

I am convenced for myself with Ephesians, but I have only studied it for two years from the manuscripts. 1 Tim and Titus, I have studied for over 20 years, studying only those two books, but within the Pragmatics or the language from 300 BC to 415 AD. I have written a book on it and a copy of it has been added to the main library at Oxford University. Oxford houses the largest library of Greek manuscripts in the world. My book on 1 Tim and Titus is in the private libraries of four Greek professors (Tutors) who are full time lecturers on Greek at Oxford.

For now, I will say only this about Ephesians, I hope it helps open some ideas.

Look at the word "pastor" in Ephesians 4:11.

Think about that word in "English." What is that? Make a list of things that you would "semantically associate" with the English word, "Pastor."

Now, brother, put on a pair of sandals.  Put on this cloth called a "hymation."  It isn't a toga, it is a gentleman's wrap, and we will give you a cloak over that.  

I'll take you to the library of Alexandria in exactly 60 AD, and you are going to go through the shelves with me looking for that word and how is it used.  Are you game?

Here is that sentence in Greek.  Don't feak!

καὶ αὐτὸς ἔδωκεν τοὺς μὲν ἀποστόλους, τοὺς δὲ προφήτας, τοὺς δὲ εὐαγγελιστάς, τοὺς δὲ ποιμένας καὶ διδασκάλους

Here is the word you are looking for in all those scrolls, ποιμένας.  That is masculine, plural, in the accusative for basically "poimenikos," a Hellenistic shephard.  However, because we have a manuscript called "The Didache" we know how they organized their Fellowships, and that 1st century Christians did not have a class of "shephards."  Remember at the end of Roman's 16:1.  The women is clearly an established head of the Fellowship, but Paul does not call her a "Goat Herder."  He calls her "THE" deacon, the very, very word he uses to describe himself when talking with Peter in Acts.  The exact same word.  When speaking with Peter he doesn't not call himself a "Goat Herder" for the Gentiles.  The word "deacon" in 1st century is closer to "nurse," or attendant, someone who gets your water for you from the river and fills your cistern, someone who takes your "potty pot" outside.  A "deaconios" puts a towel over your forehead when you are sick with fever.  This is Paul's word for himself when talking to Peter about his work among the Gentiles.  It is the same word his uses to introduce a woman in Romans 16:1.  Paul doesn't call her "Behold, the Goat Herder of Cencheae."  It is a very, very small detail.  Here:

Romans 16:1, NRSV, "I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon[a] of the church at Cenchreae, "

First, let's get rid of the "C."  That is conventional 19th century English.  It isn't correct, sorry.  The name of the city is "Κεγχρεα."  It is more like "Kegchrea."  It was south of Athens.  It is a fishing villlage.  

Brother, this is a very, very fine detail.  See this, "a deacon of the church."  That is incorrect.  There is no indirect article in Hellenistic Koine Greek.  There is a "the," 36 of them actually, but no "a" anywhere in Koine.  It isn't in Homeric or Classical Greek either.  As an example, the translators of the NRSV arbitrarily added the "a" deacon.  There is no "The Deacon."

It should be translated like this, "Behold, to men and God, I present to you our sister Phoebe, deacon of the Fellowship in the fishing village of Kegchrea."  The verb for "behold" or "commend" is actually extremely old.  It is more Mycenaean than reflective of the Hellenistic Age.

If I had awarded you a 10th degree black belt in Japan for Japanese fencing, and the Emperor of Japan were at the ceremony, I would in Japanese Introduce you to God first, and in front of all the other "Grand Masters."  That is exactly what Paul is doing with this woman.

It is not "A Deacon."  She is "Phoebe, Deacon of the Fellowship at Kegchra, the small fishing village south of Athens."  

Why do they add "A"? Well, that is the very same word that Paul uses in Acts to lable himself before Peter.

Now, notice Paul addresses her as "Sister."  That, sir, is her title.  Compare that with Matthew 23:8-12.  This is who Christians addressed each other in the 1st century.  Get a copy of the Dichache.  It is the only 1st century "Fellowship Handbook" that we have.  It was found behind a wall in Constantinople in the late 19th century.  

Here is another one, and we can look at that in English.

".... unity in the faith."  In 60 AD, this "faith" was understood to mean "Trust."  I can share several examples in the literature of the period where someone says, "This is my slave.  I will sent him with you.  He is my most TRUSTED."  Another one is, "This is my maid.  Take her with you with this money.  She is my most trusted servant."

Sir, in post-Hellenistic Koine Greek, the concept of "faith" as a "Religion" does not evolve until the early Byzantine era. Faith in Romans means "trust." Take a look at John 2 at the wedding at Cana. The dicipiles didn't have "trust" in Jesus until AFTER they saw the water change to wine. Sir, John does not record that Jesus' diciples "found a mutual religion" when they saw Jesus change water into wine. They found "trust" in him. That, sir, is 1st century "pistis," trust, and that is 1st century Koine. Writing around 150 AD in Koine Greek, the same language, Emperor Marcus Aureleus wrote (Refering to Christians), "Those who use only 'trust' as their process for their search for truth are foolish."

Doesn't Paul say in Romans, "Through reading of the word we find faith"?    In American English we could read that as "Through reading of the Word we come to Trust Jesus."  Sir, that is 1st century Greek.  There is no "blind faith" in 1st century Hellenistic Koine Greek.  The word meant "trust," and it didn't come to mean a "Religion" until hundreds of years later.  

Sir, just two words, in Ephesians, why are we using 4th century post-Hellenistic Koine litergical Greek back in the late 1st century?

Sir, I appeal to you, I think it is an honest question.  

There is solid stuff in Ephesians, but it is also filled with early 3rd - 4th century AD litergical Greek.
907-519-9838. Don't be shy.

You servant,

Timothy   

David, it is amazing to me that today it has become necessary to make a great effort to state the obvious. Did you hear that recently it is controversial or even forbidden in some circles to state that "Women have babies?"

Jesus had many disciples but only 12 apostles. Out of the 12 He had a special relationship with Peter, James and John. He has placed each of us in the Body as it pleases Him. If people want to put unqualified people in charge, they will likely regret it later. On the other hand, if they reject those who he approves, many will suffer.

Furthermore, those who abuse their responsibility or neglect their responsibility to lead others will answer to God. I have seen it often and will see it again.

Thanks brother, for your help in clearing up some confusion for us!

Hi David,

So sorry to hear you are unwell.  Many of the people I know have had Covid (including both my sons and their families) and all have made a good recovery - although sometimes it has taken a while for the energy to come back.  Here in the UK it appears we are getting waves of cases every 3-4 months and the BA.4 and BA.5 Omicron subvariants seem adept at by-passing immunity - whether by vaccination or previous infection.  At least vaccination has meant that there are far fewer deaths and incidences of very serious illness. It must be really disappointing to miss the concert - although perhaps you will make two other people very happy!  No compensation at all, but maybe have a listen to some of my latest music:

https://theregime2.bandcamp.com/releases

All good wishes for a speedy recovery,

Graham

Hi David.  Hope you don't mind if I make a few comments on your post.  In answer to the first question you pose, I think the I Corinthians passage is presumed to be refering to a "worship service" in part because of I Cor 11:18 which makes it clear that the context is the coming together of the group.  Personally I think it is question begging to translate ἐν ἐκκλησία as "in church" but that is how it is usually rendered.  I would prefer something more neutral like "assembly".  The other element which could be pointed to is the phrase κυριακὸν δεῖπνον φαγεῖν (1 Cor. 11:20) - which I spent some time discussing in my paper.  If this does indeed convey the meaning "Lord's Supper" then this would be another good reason for regarding this as a "worship service".  I tried to suggest that this is not necessarily the case but I am very much aware that many would disagree.   

You comment that "many in the Apostolic era had "all things in common" " but I think it is clear from Paul's comments in I Cor that this was not the case in the Corinthian community.  Other than the early chapters of Acts, I cannot think of any other early Christian writings which seem to presume this model of community but maybe I have missed something.

Your other question is easily answered.  The translators include "this" in I Cor 11:26 because it is in the Greek text!  The phrase is τὸν ἄρτον τοῦτον.  I have checked the TR, WH, SBL, UBS and NA and they all read this.  Neither does the UBS or NA28 give the omission of the demonstrative as a textual variant so I'm not sure how the table you included in your post was derived.

Best wishes,

Graham

Is it OK to share some very personal details about my walk with you? All of the following happened to me, and is true. 

MY STORY: 

I came from a violent home, (drugs, alcohol, gun shots, being chased with knives, people thrown through picture pane windows), in fact I was born three months early because my father kicked my mother in the stomach. 

I was born weighing two pounds nine ounces. As early as 7yrs old, I was out on the streets till 3-4am, I was put in three orphanages... One night I remember, my father snuck into our house, he put a loaded pistol in my hand and told me to shoot my sisters and my mother, it was crazy. 

Through all of this, (which I wouldn't change), I came out a fairly normal kid, I was involved in sports and didn't do drugs, or drink. I thought I was a survivor, wanting only to make it through another day. 

In 1974, I started to sense a need in my life, an emptiness that I couldn't explain. I knew I had to find God/Jesus, but who was HE. I had no idea where to find HIM, so I went to the local library to find books concerning world religions, God, and the occult. At the library, I met an ex-hippie (Gary Osborn) he saw my books and decided to share the message with me. 

Gary invited me to pray in the back of his V.W. so I did, I remember saying "God forgive me for my sins, and whatever you have for me I want it all". At first nothing happened I expected, lightening or something. Gary said, "Just go home and praise God" I said, "What's that, mean" Gary said, "Just thank him" So I did just that. 

Before I asked Jesus into my heart, I never heard voices, I never drank, and I never did drugs, but one week after meeting Jesus while in the middle of my last class (during high school) A voice, just as clear, as someone standing next to you, spoke, and as the voice spoke it said to me, "rod tell them about Jesus" I was surprised, but unafraid, I put my hand over my mouth, since I didn't want anyone to think I was talking too myself, I said (to whoever spoke to me) "I don't know what to say" the voice said "don't be afraid, I'll give you the words to say" To this day I don't remember my words, but I spoke to those kids about Jesus and salvation, their mouths just dropped open and then, class was over, I walked out of that room, feeling like I had never felt before. 

The next day was Saturday; I slept in the living room on an old couch. When I woke it was early and I decided to turn on the TV, to watch my favorite cartoon, the roadrunner. 

As I sat there watching the TV, I got up and looked outside, everything was so beautiful, (I never appreciated nature, I just wanted to make it thru another day). BUT now it was so pretty, I sat back down on the couch, and as I did, I was somewhere else. 

I was sitting at a long roughhewn table. In front of me was God, the father. I couldn't see him, to my left was Satan, him I could see (he looked like a man only very big) then to my right was Jesus. 

Three bowls appear, filled with what looked like porridge. 

Now the father spoke and said Satan dismiss yourself, Satan stood and screamed, then vanished. Three bites were taken out of the bowl. Then all at once I was watching myself from a distance, walking with Jesus up a grassy pathway. Jesus was speaking to me but from a distance I couldn't hear him, I could see myself shaking my head (like I understand) then thru my eyes I saw the house where I had been sleeping. 

I didn't know what had happened; I'd never experienced anything like that, before, I KNEW GOD loved me and wanted something from me...my total surrender. 

I needed to get a bible. So, I went to a bookstore and I got the largest family bible I'd ever seen, with pictures and everything. I was so happy. Then for the first time, I heard the living / spoken word.

That night the voice of the lord said, "Read Matthew 5." I had to look in the contents; I didn't know where Matthew was. When I found it and started to read, the words became a ("Word of the Lord to me") they just jumped off the page, they seemed to come alive, and they filled me, with hope, love and peace. Now I knew God loved me, and my sins were gone, I was forgiven... 

As time passed, I grew, sometimes I'd walk into a busy office or building (like a D.O.L) and the Lord would say go sit by that guy. I would strike up a conversation, then say "you don't know me but I'm a Christian and God is going to share with me about your life" I don't mean simple things like "you have the flu" or "Headaches", but deep, personal things that others couldn't know or even guess. 

People would usually start to cry and ask "how did you know?" I'd say "I didn't but God knew". 

This has been a short summary of my life. 

Now many years later, what happened to me? 

Great failure, habitual sin, followed by abundant mercy, grace, and a life of LIVING Hebrews Ch 4 (Rest) 

Maybe your sin is different, but at the root it is the same. At one time I was in your place, a captive to sin, daily sin for 30+ years, multiple times a day. Lust, masturbation, etc. 

I felt so bad, so guilty, how could I do this to God. Nothing brought relief. I confessed to friends, family, pastors. I wrote letters to Christian leaders, including Pat Robertson, I even fasted for 30 days. Nothing brought me freedom. Every day I failed. Then one day I had an idea. I knew this Christian lady from Russia. I had seen her pray and get instant answers (this is a gift given only to some). 

So, I go to her and ask her if she will fast and pray with me for one week, that I might be closer to God, to receive some kind of brokenness. Then about 2, maybe 3 weeks later, without me connecting the dots, not even remembering the fasting and prayers, my life literally feel apart. 

Car accidents, losing a 20-year job, lose friends, relationships with kids and family fall apart too. But my job... That was the killer, without it, I can't support my family, I would fail them. I couldn't bear it. 

I was so crushed. I decided I had had enough; I would end this now. I'm done. I grab my shotgun, load it with d ought and walk into the woods. I buried the stock in the dirt, asked God to please forgive me for what I'm about to do went straight on, and put the barrel ion my mouth, and pushed the trigger with my left thumb.

A few minutes later, I waken, and sight comes thru my eyes again. I'm lying flat on the ground, and I think, "I'm not in heaven, and I'm not in ****, oh no, I'm in the same place". 

I notice blood all over, the gun laying perfectly parallel to me, on my right side? As if someone had been holding it, or guiding it, and laid it there, by me. I'm cold... I grab the shotgun, wrap it in the blanket, and walk back to my car, placing it in the trunk. 

Every step, soaking the ground with blood. My pants are bloody, my boots full of blood, my car gets soaked, it's everywhere. I get to my house, no one is home. I leave a trail of blood with each step. I go upstairs to my bed room, I'm so tired. I lay down, but then get up. I walk into the bathroom, and see my face for the first time, and notice my injury. Half my face is gone, on the right side. 

I hear someone enter the front door. I close and lock the bathroom door. I hear hurried steps, and someone shouts my name (Dad)... My son knocks on the door. "Dad are you alright, what's all this blood". Yes, I'm ok, just call your mom, she will know what to do. "Dad open the door, or I'll kick it down". 

My son sees my face and runs to the phone, the ambulance and police come, and a helicopter flies me to Harborview. I'm there for 1-2 months, 3 or more surgeries. Lots of blood lost, as I had severed the carotid artery. 

After the long hospital stay, I return home... 

How is this possible, why am I alive? What does God think of me now? First, I live a life of backslidden, sin, and then try to kill myself! Is He, now mad at me, hate me, what does He think now? 

Every day my family has to clean my wound, a hole 3-4 inches into my head, opens up, and needs daily care, until it gets fixed and heals completely. Then one day... 

I'm all alone. They all go shopping, and also need a break, from the intensity of the situation. As I'm sitting at the table, I look outside, and see the rain drops falling to the ground. THEN... I hear His voice. 

He says "Rod, why do you believe what you believe and who taught you". I say "Lord I don't know, maybe I just picked up things on the way, as time went by". 

He says "Do you think TRUTH, goes from THE MIND of one man, and into the mind of another"? I said "No Lord. I believe TRUTH is REVEALED". He says "Do you remember the story of David, on his rooftop" "Yes, Lord I remember". "Do you remember what David wanted to do, and what I told him". "Yes Lord, he wanted to build you a house". "And I said NO". "But another would build my house". "He would have a son" 

"NOW WATCH ME FULFILL THIS SPOKEN WORD/PROMISE". 

One day David is on his rooftop, and he sees a woman, and says..."Get her for me"... 

***No one but God could arrange these circumstances in order to fulfill this promise, her there at the right time, David seeing her, and liking her. 

Then He says to me, "Do you have a problem with me using sin, to fulfill my will". I say "No Lord, for you created the law, you could make it vanish also, it is not possible for you to break it, for you are above it". 

Rod "I don't want you to ever put your sin above my love and grace for you. Don't ever do it again"! "IT IS NOT YOUR JOB, TO CHANGE YOURSELF, that is MY JOB; I am the farmer, you are the vine, I am the shepherd, you are the sheep. WHEN I want to change something in your life, I will bring it to your attention, and you JUST AGREE WITH ME"... "You just rest." 

***This was 12-15 years ago; I have been free ever since. I live the life of Hebrews CH4. 

**** I hope this helps/blesses you. Just rest. Sin is dead to us, even if we commit sin, it is DEAD, and it has been paid for. IT has no power over us, it has no meaning for us. 

Christ took it to the cross and killed it in the flesh, you NOW live in spirit, like changing cars. You went from a car, and now sit in a plane. The car (flesh and sin, which is in the flesh, can't fly, only a plane can fly). 

You have been crucified in Christ, that is who you are now. 

But you still live in a BODY that is tied to sin. You cannot LET it have influence over you. No one condones or wants to sin, but when and if you sin, COUNT IT AS DEAD, as if it didn't happen. JUST walk on... 

It says Boo, and you just ignore it, it is dead...

So true.

Brother Timothy, I thank you for your awesome exposition of truth that you have found in the gospel of Matthew in the 23rd chapter. It is mind blowing how we have this truth in front of us in the written text and we miss it. I thank you Holy Spirit of God for your revelation of the truth and I no longer feel alone in my convictions and beliefs. 

One quick question if I may ask? Can you please give your thoughts and convictions on 

Ephesian 4:11-13

11 And it was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for works of ministry and to build up the body of Christ, 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, as we mature to the full measure of the stature of Christ.

Because of this scripture passage, the Church leadership has defended their stance on Positions of leadership. It would be wonderful to have your insight on this.